Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
