No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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