Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
