I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
