I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
