In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
