Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
