My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
