i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
