Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
