so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
