I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
