He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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