WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
