He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
