So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
