i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
