I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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