I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
