Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
