I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize