Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
