Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
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