how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
