i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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