I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
