After last night, I could never be a politician.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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