Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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