I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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