I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
