just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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