I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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