Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
