he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
