shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
