The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize