Plan B is the new Plan A
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
