we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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