Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
