i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
