She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
