Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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