I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
