3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
