Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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