why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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