ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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