There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize