so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
