So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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