I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
