NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
