Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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