I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
