Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
