I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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