im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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