There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
